~ Thom Wants U N I To Get Some ASS!!! ~

Yeah, so when I got off work tonight, I went upstairs to go talk to Al Nicky and Tuff Titties. Somehow, which I am unable to backtrack, we came to the topic of me having a fetus...growing from my anus. But this isn't enough. Apparently the fetus is teething, which is causing me a great amount of discomfort. And it has thick dark hair that resembles the hair on Allie's leg's. And he smiles funny... He needs braces but I'm not about to go to the dentist about it. Knowing my luck I'd start to take my pants off to show him and he'd call the cops. Before I would be aware of my surroundings, I'm in the back of a cop car being told I have the right to remain silent. (if you know me, the last part is that unrealitic type of funny)
Anyway you guys. This little bastard doesn't have a name. So I need help with some ideas. If you have any, let me know ;)